The year is already over..

Yes, and mine was over on July 6, the day I came back home to Indonesia.

Even so, all the memories during that one year will always be in my heart.. Sheesh thinking of it might even make me cry.. Sometimes I hate being so sensitive over these things.. I cry easily either when I'm mad or touched :S

The exchange students and my host families are the most unforgettable people in my exchange year. Sure, I spent a lot of time with my classmates in school thinking that the rule said I should make more friends with the locals.. But then, i misunderstood the rule. Thinking about it makes it feel stupid, but it's passed... I regret not spending more time with the other exchange students more.. But I did not regret spending a lot of time with my host families.. :)

Even though I might not be in contact with a lot of people from my exchange year, they are still part of my precious memories in Taiwan. People have been busy with their school and social life back home, and me too, although I haven't socialized that well yet with my new classmates. I thought I had changed, but the shy part of me still hasn't changed. When I'm hyper I laugh and talk, but I am still easily distracted; emotionally distracted. When something is in my mind and I think of it all the time, I might become quieter and not talk, and try to force myself to talk to people, mostly feeling disappointed in myself eventually.

I feel like my head would explode any minute, and feel like I want to be able to hibernate and just sleep peacefully. However I know that's not possible. I have things I need and have to do, and time will never stop flowing.

The conflicts inside me might not be something really big or important, but I tend to think over small things. I don't like this tendency of mine, but that's me. I have two choices: change it, or leave it. Hard way or easy way. Better ending or worse ending.

Again about my year, truthfully I regretted a lot of things. I know, such a wonderful year shouldn't be regretted, but I can't help it. I hate people who always criticize you not for who you are now but the 'past' you, but then personally inside me, I often dwell over my past experiences. Mostly ones I don't or never want to be reminded ever again.

One was during my exchange year, but as this is a blog, no matter how I want the others know the truth of that time, it will hurt myself in the end. I was betrayed by someone whom I thought was my best friend in my exchange year. It doesn't really matter any more as the year had ended, but I still wished that she was to be blamed at that time and not me. All because I was oblivious and stupid. I don't hate her, but I can't really trust her any more. That's all.

One was after, but this one might make me cry loads :S

I should start a new blog, as this year is already over, but I might still add things to this blog; either it's something I forgot to write despite how many months had passed or anything related to Taiwan and my exchange year.